So my plan was to be high AS FUCK while writing this book because, honestly, that worked out for me pretty well so far in life. Pretty much all my successes in my career CAN ABSOLUTELY without a doubt, be attributed the the altered mental states I was in through college. Fire Tiger vs Acid Panther? All the creative work was done high. It's inception was when I was high. Prostitute was conceived when I was high.
I have done extensive research on the matter, and the addition of cannabis led to an observably higher quality of originality and skill. And not only that: The effortlessness of it all! When my depression hit, (not from bad events, but from genetics,) the days of inspiration were so distant, I began to question whether they'd ever come back. When I discovered drugs, those days of frantic scribbling and joy where no longer fantasy. It finally gave my life meaning again - to not only be able to draw, but to love it again.
Now with no drugs maybe this book will never be written. I cannot write this book without inspiration. No, wait... I totally can. But it will absolutely not be the calibre of work I anticipated, or have previously produced. Writing this book without the fever I experienced when I was young/high is just... some may say to just do it. To see what happens. But it doesn't work that way.
So I've decided, unlike FTAP, to completely privatize my work on this book until publication. Sharing my work can be a great motivator, so if I can't share until I'm completely done, (except for some promotional stuff) maybe it will be the kickstart I need?
I no longer have cravings to get high, as it finally dawned on me the cannabis was making my aspergers severely worse. But I just fear that those days of inspiration are long gone.